The relationships we’ve built this year have proved to be something quite special. It’s rare to find people who you connect with so quickly and deeply, who are honest and true to what they believe in. (I’ve experienced quite the opposite in the past, believe me, people can be very disappointing.) As a visual person I find it difficult to put into words, so I’ll borrow the song ‘Labouring and resting’ by Karine Polwart and Pippa Murphy to explain how this small community makes me feel. You can listen to it here, Karine uses the observation of migrating geese to encourage us to consider how we humans interact and depend on and support each other to move though life…
“The outstretched wingtips of each migrating goose create an upwash, a pocket of wind resistance for the bird tucked in behind and below. These neuks of ease, these aerodynamic sanctuaries, cut the drag by up to 65%. It’s a wonder, and it’s also a gale-bitten struggle to sustain cooperation. Every goose takes a turn. Stepping up, falling back, labouring and resting.”
It has been an amazing year in lots of ways. At times I’ve felt almost euphoric, you just need to have a look at my instagram to see that; walking through the forest in spring or stepping into the sea after a long day painting in summer. However, this is not the stereotypical Scottish island idyll - that doesn’t exist I’m afraid - and no matter where you move to you can’t leave all the rubbish bits behind. I’ve lived with varying degrees of anxiety for a very long time and in late autumn, just as we were embarking on some travelling, I was hit by the worst period of anxiety I’ve ever had. This has meant that I’ve not been able to do much of the development work I had planned for winter. This has been frustrating, but I’ve had great support from everyone around me and from the NHS so I’m pleased to be feeling an awful lot better now. It’s been a tough realisation that people/situations can still trigger periodic anxiety in me, but a much more valuable realisation is that I’m now a member of a truly supportive flock of geese just waiting to step up and provide each other a pocket of wind resistance.
As always these experiences, realisations, thoughts and feelings, good and bad, ultimately feed my creative soul. It’s often said that creative people feel things much more deeply, which is great when those things are beautiful and positive, not so great when it’s the opposite - but I wouldn’t change it.
Lots of lovely things to come this year, exhibitions, projects and developments.
I’m stepping into 2024 gently but with intention.